So i will start with the bad first. This morning we woke up to having a flat tire. And instead of being allowed to drive it slowly to the car store place, we had to CHANGE the TIRE and then drive it. So, in a SKIRT, I got out the jack and the spare and some other tools that i found in the trunk and I flippin changed the tire. #WhoNeedsElders? Also this week, my brain turned to mush and I became a depressed bed potato. I couldn't get up. I didn't want to talk to anybody. I didn't want to look in a mirror. I seriously was just DONE! My poor companion.. So I called Sister Heap and she is helping me a ton. But it has been very slow going for me this week. I've been to a bunch of doctors and we are figuring this out! Everything should start to improve. I just hate feeling like that, because that's not what I came out to do.. i don't want to lay in bed. i don't want to be sick. I want to FIND, TEACH, AND BAPTIZE! The Lord is so good to me and is teaching me the best things. I am learning how to take care of myself, and how to be humble enough to let others take care of me too. Mainly those are just the things that have made this week dumb.
BUT THIS WEEK HAS BEEN SO AMAZING! BECAUSE I GOT TO SEE MY BORGER FAMILY! We woke up really early and rode down to Lubbock with our favorite RM named Julaine. We got to the temple and I knew that the Borger ward was coming in like an hour, so Sister B and I did initiatories for a second and then ran down to the baptismal font. I walked in there and Bishop Long gave me the biggest hug! Then Sister Long! Then Sister Cochran! Then Mario! Tears just streamed down my face. Sister Long and I just looked at each other and smiled and cried for like a whole minute. My heart was going to explode. Then i walked towards the Sister changing room, and I opened the door and in the reflection of the mirror, I see Irene's beautiful face and i LEAPED INTO HER ARMS!!!! And my heart exploded. I just lost myself and we cried and cried just hugging each other. I accidentally was like sobbing. But Irene just held me even though she's like SO pregnant. She was just saying "I love you I love you I love you I love you" in my ear over and over. I finally pulled away and BOOM there was HERMANA DONIS!!!!!! I just hugged the crap out of her too. Sister Long was in there and she's crying and saying "This is what Heaven will be like". Every time I reflect on that moment I tear up. I have never in all my life felt that much love. I was surrounded in the Temple by people who LOVED me. And not only loved me, but genuinely CARED about me, people who prayed for me. And there they all where, hugging and kissing me. I felt like the most beautiful person in all the world. I got to sit with Irene as we waited in the confirmation room with Irene's hands on top of mine, feeling little baby Savannah kick around, and I had Sister Donis's arm around me. I just closed my eyes and thanked God for this perfect moment in His home.
Irene and I got a few minutes to ourselves outside the temple. We walked around and talked about life. She is such a rockstar. She is the Relief Society secretary! She loves it. She just held my face in her hands and thanked me for knocking on her door. For saving her and her babies. She said that no one will ever replace me. She told me her girls and she still hadn't gotten over me leaving and that they talked about me all the time. Irene said that I was the brightest light in her life. Then we promised each other to meet back in the temple one year from her baptism. AND THEN WE FACE TIMED HER GIRLS! They are so beautiful and they just screamed when they saw me. Oh you guys.. my heart is so full. I can't even begin to explain the joy that i have in my heart. What if I had not come?
As I kneeled down in prayer that night, I just cried to my Heavenly Father in the utmost gratitude. I explained to Him how much love I felt and how beautiful I felt around those people. And then He took that time to teach me about HIS perfect love for me. I knew that if I truly understood HIS love, I would always feel beautiful. I would always feel enough. When i am around Irene, do i even give one thought to my weight? Stretch marks? Complexion? NOOOOOOO! So if I understood Heavenly Father's love, would I give any thought to those either?
Words cannot describe how much I love this gospel. It gives us a new life. Not just when we sin. But through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, we are offered that new life and new start everyday. After a hard week. After a long winter of depression. After a loss of a testimony. We are offered a fresh start. A budding blossom of love and peace.
I love you each so much. I love my mission. I love these people. I am so grateful for this opportunity to serve my Heavenly Father. i feel like i haven't even done anything, but He has blessed me beyond belief.